


From the Starfleet Rule Book

by CyberMum



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-18
Updated: 2010-04-18
Packaged: 2017-10-09 00:38:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/81136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyberMum/pseuds/CyberMum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What to do in ... certain circumstances (as dictated by Starfleet Command)</p>
            </blockquote>





	From the Starfleet Rule Book

When on a Star Ship in outer space  
And your libido starts to race  
When you've had an encounter of the Alien sort  
Of the feminine gender in another space-port.  
When your hormones start to jump and rush  
And your skin begins to feel flush  
When your stomach rolls and feels chaotic  
And you're acting just a touch neurotic  
When you can't recall the Prime Directive  
And reading up is ineffective  
When your gut is tied up all in knots:  
You've got a bad case of 'the hots'.  
Our orders in this case are clear  
If you value your Starfleet career.  
You must inform your ship's First Mate  
Of your wish to copulate.  
He in turn will notify  
The Doctor who will then apply  
A battery of standard tests  
(Included in his manifest).  
Which when complete will help determine  
That there are no spatial vermin  
Lurking just beneath the tip  
Of your Alien lover's lip.  
The Medic has his obligation  
To act befitting to his station  
He must inform your Captain of  
Your request to fall in love.  
Your Captain, pending current mood  
(Is she a liberal or a prude?)  
Should then insist upon conduction  
Of lectures on alien reproduction.  
Your sweetheart also must checked  
For anything that might infect  
Your shipmates or her world below  
And make your skin begin to glow.  
Now when this work is all complete  
And forms filled out in triplicate,  
You've had approval, which we doubt  
That's what these rules are all about.  
The object of your heart's desire  
The one who's set your loins afire  
Should by now have disappeared  
That's how these rules were engineered.  
We would suggest you look elsewhere  
To conduct a sexual affair.  
In fact we'd even understand  
If you did take yourself in hand.

~*~


End file.
